I Am Practicing

IMG_5254I’ve  always liked completing things. I used to live for checkmarks on my to do list. I was that kid that would finish the test first and run up to turn it in before everyone else. I’m comfortable with completion. If I say I’m going to do something – by golly, I am.

It’s the process things where I get hung up.

Even if there are mini goals, the idea of doing something for a lifetime makes it easy to slide or procrastinate – eating healthy, exercising, meditating, socializing.

Measuring how I work on my character is even tougher – being more confident, being forgiving, being true to myself.

Am I confident yet?

These are things you work on for a lifetime.

I have a tendency to be hard on myself about these things – never measuring up to an ideal in my head.

I tell myself not to be so afraid. But, that makes me feel worse. I tell myself  “I am courageous,” but that feels untrue.

But, the idea of practicing – that’s something I can get behind.

Lately, I’ve been saying to myself that I’m “practicing courage.”

I went whitewater rafting this weekend. I was nervous, but I was “practicing courage” and that made me feel brave and free.

I am “practicing thinking positively.” I am “practicing gratitude.” I am “practicing faith.” I am “practicing mindfulness.”

I am practicing.

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